Recently, being of inquisitive minds and a brave spirits, my good friend Oz K. Fodrotski and I decided to share lunch at a new restaurant that had just opened up in (and this might foreshadow what was to come) Anytown America: Carl's Jr.

The first thing I noticed was the fact that there were two separate drive-through lanes, which strikes me as ridiculous, but perhaps more a comment on culture than on the restaurant itself. Another aspect of the culture could be gleaned from Oz's observation regarding the type (big) and newness (very) of the vehicles parked at this establishment.

Regardless, we entered, and pondered a little while we ordered.

Now, to be fair, I don't eat fast food very often at all, not feeling a need to drive off campus when I already have food for the lazy prepared for me, along with all the soft-serve ice cream a man could ever need (go go Lol Tilly Commons Lol). My good friend Oz, on the other hand, "somewhat regularly" (according to his account) partakes of this fast-food, and so perhaps it should be his opinion you should seek as to these restaurants: "Man, this reeks of the states." The reaction of the (obviously not Alaskan) man to his left was priceless.

Noting the ice-cream-kiosk, I quickly moved on to looking at the meat, as I am wont to do. Finally deciding upon the Philly Cheese Steak Burger, I preceded to order at the one open register, and encountered a small confusion as to the fact that small, medium, and large combo prices weren't listed that I noticed, but single, double, and six-dollar-burger sizes (which are apparently different things) were. Call me a fast-food philistine. Deciding upon the medium size combo ($8.59), I was greeted with a massive cup of size perhaps 32 liquid ounces. Medium, it was not. Hilarity ensued upon reading a quote on side about the quality of the burgers at Carl's Jr. from "Phoood.com." No, not a typo, and yes, has that got to a reliable source, oh boy. So filling my cup with completely uncarbonated Fanta, to a table I went and sat until they brought my meal to me (a nice touch). The fries were actually a medium size in quantity, actually seemed like potato and were overall decent, but my interest was - as always - on the meat. Noting the dripping juices from the burger with approval, I dug in. And it tasted decent: I could taste real onions. It was also so rich, that I really could feel my chest get a little constricted. Thus, while fairly (though not especially) tasty, I just couldn't finish it all. This from a man who used to be able to demolish BK Quad Stackers with ease. Oz describes his burger as good, but mild for something that was tagged "Jalapeno."

Overall, the food tasted alright, but was probably death to your internal organs. Service was certainly decent, but prices were too high. Go there if you're from the military and need something familiar from the States, otherwise it's not worth it.

Ab B. Lancaster out.