Sex Sells shitty blow jobs

It's that time again. This week's porn of choice was the 1999 Vivid film, "Sex Sells." Unlike last week's choice, "Sex Sells" qualifies as a true porno: crappy storyline, crappier acting, and lots and lots of sex.

The premise for all this sex is a hot young girl trying to make it to the top of a company that produces and sells (drum roll please) porn. Please, hold your applause. It has a unique style of filming, with "interviews" done in a choppy, off-color strobe-light setting, and the stories told by the interviewees nice and crisp. It was refreshing for the first twenty minutes, then my head started hurting every time the screen tinted purple.

The porno aspect of "Sex Sells" was actually decent, except for two things. Firstly, there was one chick in all the sex scenes- fitting, I suppose, given the "plot," but her tits were so fake she couldn't titty fuck properly and they didn't move much. Although I will say that the lesbian three-some was awesome, especially considering the other two participants were both natural, curvy and oh-so gorgeous. The second "ugh" factor was the blow jobs. There were a lot of blow jobs in this movie, and they looked like they sucked, and I don't mean in a good way. Lots of head bobbing, smiling up at the guy, and spit. Not terribly hot. I ended up sitting there thinking "dude, that looks like shitty head." My friend actually said out loud that he could probably give better head then the actors. I will say that not only did the girls appear to fail at giving head, the guys looked like they had never put their faces near a pussy before and had no idea what a clit was, let alone how to do anything other then lick.

But at least the actual sex was good.

I really wish they had let me know if they ever let that chick out of the closet...

GRADE: C-
acting: D-
script: D
hot chicks: A
sex: B-
awesome factor: C

Amy out.